我是一只小小兔子

This post is dedicated to Berry, whose life was robbed from her much earlier than it was intended to have been.

Berry

I have been very very busy with work, with such, I have had very little time to spend with Buttons, what more Berry.

Which is why I bought her in the first place. Because I owe Buttons that much, a friend, a companion, that I have robbed him off for the first 1 year he has been with me.

No living creature can live in solitude, especially animals. Which is why most specialist would advice buying pets in pairs, not in a singular manner.

And much to my dismay, even that has been robbed from him.

I bought her about a week ago from a Pet Shop in Sungai Buloh in impulse because she looked simply adorable when I saw her in lowyat forums, and even mroe adorable when I saw her at the petshop itself.

I brought her home a bit fearful of what Buttons might think of her, having said he has never had to share his territory with anyone before, and I know him to be very territorial. But to my surprise, he accepted her almost immediately.

He would follow her wherever she hopped and try his best to lie down beside her. It was truly a breathtaking sight. And everyday when I look at them, he would always try his best to manja with her. He'd always place his head underneath her tummy no matter what she was doing.

When anyone, even my mother asked me about her, I'd proudly tell them how Buttons loves her so much, takes care of her with an unconditional love, and always tries to be as close as possible to her.

KPMG has a fruit day every month where everyone in every department gets a free fruit from KPMG. Last month, they gave me an apple. I didn't really feel like eating it, so I gave it to Buttons, and the cute little boy ate it excitedly. So on Monday, KPMG gave me a pear instead. Knowing how much Buttons loves fruits, I decided to give it to him to share with Berry.

On Tuesday, coming home from work, I was a bit mortified to find Berry lau-sai-ing all over the cage. Thinking that it was minor problem, having said that Buttons lau-sai's once in a while, I didn't pay that much attention to it being a problem. I just cleaned up the cage, alongside with the two of them.

And even then, Buttons kept licking her to dry her up and sort out her fur with much affection indeed. She seemed a lot better, althought she was still lau-sai-ing a bit. So I covered the cage with a tower to keep them warmer from the air con. and the next morning I woke up to check on them before I went to work. Berry was still running around the cage. Assuming everything was fine I left for work with the two of them lying down side by side.

Yesterday, Wednesday, the 24th of November 2010, after work, she laid dead, eyes still wide open, staring in to the abyss, limp on the cage floor. And Buttons, probably not understanding death, was still licking her head. Probably not realizing why she wasn't responding to him anymore.

She died of a common rabbit intestine disease contracted from human contact. Most young rabbits don't have a proper immunity system built up to withstand such diseases. I was too used to Buttons, who was strong from the day I bought him, that I totally forgot about that fact. So indirectly, to my horror, I caused her death.

Not being able to bury her, having said I have nothing more than a concrete garden, and not wanting any other animals to eat her in her death. I bagged her up properly, said a little prayer for her, asking God to forgive me for my carelessness, and hoping to give her a better home wherever she may be now, I placed her gently, at the bottom of my rubbish bin angry that I couldn't give her a proper burial. Angry, if not for me, for Buttons at least.

Berry meeting Buttons for the first time.

Many times last night, I caught Buttons looking for her in the places she loves to hide in, not being able to find her. Towards the end of the night, realizing that she is no longer there. He reverted back to his old self, lazing and moping around. Very much different from the Buttons I took much happiness in watching throughout the past week with Berry. And I truly felt very sad for him.

To Berry,

You deserved much more than the short life you lived. For that chose this song, in dedication to you, though you were not a bird, you still deserved to fly much higher than you did.

我是一只小小小小鸟
想要飞呀飞却飞也飞不高

I'm a little little bird

who wants to fly but cannot fly high